Courtesy Flush, The Bathroom Blog

Only place in Miami I can endorse. Sorry. I’m not taking that back. 

Don’t fucking order a Tucher. They have an IPA, a stout, a double and a quadruple.

Bathrooms are to the back. I’m not sure what the boy’s room looks like (as if I’d admit that here) but the girl’s room has little heart shaped tiles in the one single stall. I’d give anything this place has to do with 5 flushes. 

Rumor has it, documenting toilets has caught on and there are supposedly some pretty chill bathrooms in Miami, FL. Theres a new Twitter account here  that will eventually showcase snapshots and a short description of Miami’s oldest, newest, best, and worst johns. 

I bet you all already follow me on Twitter, but if you don’t, you can, if you want to. I am here.

I came here after a long and painful day of helping someone move. In the cold. Up a 4 flight walk up. My reward was lunch at Fette Sau. We were exhausted but excited. BBQ is ordered. Its expensive. I am grateful. I decided to order up a half gallon of some beer. We all needed it.

The BBQ is ordered at one counter. Beer at another. This here is the story of the incident that made me hate Fette Sau. I pay for the beer with my card, sign the receipt, go put it down on the table, like 3 feet away. At this time, the lovely lady who I paid yells, angrily, putting me on blast in front of a restaurant full of judging hipster eyes, how gratuity is not included in the price of the beer. How did she know I was not going to put down my beer, grab some CASH to tip with from the table, and flash her my smile, making her day amazing? She didn’t. Shes a bitch. And because of her ridiculous freak out, I opted instead for my “you’re dead to me” facial expression and scribbled some indiscernible number over my receipt.

Eff this place and everything it represents. Oh and the bathroom looks like something out of Saw.

First: They are open 24 hours. Do you know what Korean food does for you at 3am? It. Saves. Your. Pathetic. Life. 

Next: Its cheap. I like cheap. And it’s really really good. I’m not the only one that thinks so, see.

Last: The bathrooms are 2 private rooms all the way to the back and they’re worthy of 3 flushes.

Pro tip: Please put TP into the bin. Make clear for next person. 

People can’t follow directions.

Check out that sink. Its pretty bad ass. I came here for a girls’ outting/ happy hour type thing. The drinks were sweet but strong, which is good. You’ll need the sugar for energy to dodge the senior citizens trying to pick you up. Sorry. That was mean. But true. Only old people could keep a bathroom that pristine. 

This is a very intimate music venue split up into a few small rooms. I bet it would be a really cool place to see a show. But I wouldn’t know because I was in and out. Then the bathroom. Probably top 5 smallest Ive ever been in, earning it mad props. I can handle it, but I love when tall people suffer. And they would definitely have a strugglefest in there. If I was more dexterous I bet I could get all 4 walls in one picture. I give it 2 flushes anyways though.  

Beer. Video games. No TV. Bring your dog. Not on a Saturday night. Change machine at the end of the bar. 

2 girl’s stalls. Lots of graffiti. Don’t break the seal. 3 flushes. 

Your guide…

Oh yea. I was too drunk to remember to take a pic of the actual toilet. Shrug.